• What the Monkey can do

    I abandoned aspiration

    Somewhere

    in an off-white hall

    Then

    Last night

    Poets held court in the park

    & somewhere

    Among the red blue and green

    Haired leather

    A spark or two awoke,

    Danced w/ punks junkies

    & other assorted fans

    Of the darkness

    That gives light to art

    I know what the monkey can do

    Got my share of demons too

    Smokey shadows of shattered

    mirror dreams

    I look forward to the past

    Hoping to find

    The piece that’ll make me whole

    The peace that fits

    Where I

    Tore out my soul

  • where

    It’s almost 2 AM

    I’m not sleeping

    I’m crying

    And dying a little in my weeping

    Too much tragedy

    Too much loss

    Too much pain

    For a man already

    At the bottom of his game

    I want to be invisible

    Don’t want to be seen

    Still I’d be divisible

    ‘cuz nothing is in between

    & nothing is what I’ll become to you

    LOOK MA! I’M NOTHING

    TORN IN TWO!

    I’m the right man for the job you say

    It’s brutal but beautiful pay

    & Honey isn’t coming home

    and never will

    the one I love is disappearing still

    To see her try to speak

    w/ no affect

    & no words forthcoming

    just a heartbreaking blank stare

    We both know she’s going

    but no one can say where

  • A Moment from Midnight

    A moment of midnight

    “Hey, look guys!”…

    the pain comes shining through

    Sanity fades from sight

    & no one knows why I’m blue?

    No, no one knows

    What makes me blue

    Sitting alone in the dark

    thinking about what I had

    until the theory went bad

    Staring

    out

    a window

    Into the night

    Impulsive, this always hungry shark

    No sense of Wrong or Right

    & can you tell me the difference?

    It’s not black or grey or white,

    dawn midnight twilight

    Only shades of blue,

    shades of blue

    No one knows just what we had

    something went bad

    ‘cuz now you’re sad for

    or mad at me

    A chain of pain

    I try to forge a key

    I’ll try to be content

    like a cat sleeping in the sun

    I’ll try to be charming

    I’ll try to be fun

    the future can be alarming

    a moment from midnight

    what’s done is done

    Moments in midnight

    tell me about Wrong and Right

    impulsive always hunting shark

    swimming alone in the dark

    a moment from midnight

  • Crystal birds at the unseen door

    Crystal birds

    Blasting sunshine 

    I’m drifting way past sleep

    Sometimes mourning 

    Comes when morning comes

    Oneself must give oneself 

    Time to weep

    & Sometimes nothing comes

     & nothing goes

    Find myself staring

    Into empty space with 

    nothing to give or keep 

    The Cacophony Calliope

    Never slows

    Shaman drumming ancient vibrations

    Calling from within the deep

    Dimly lit cavernous echoes

    Of perceptive cellular memories 

    I watch the world

    And wonder how many stop

    To feel what lies beneath 

    The surging surface emotions 

    That we act upon 

    It’s sad, we could be so much more

    if we tried to reach that unseen door

  • Summers Divinity

    Strange delivery

    a smiling girl

    a smiling sun

    in a crystal sky

    Summers’ Divinity

    A pleasant breeze

    Flowing hair

    laying in the grass

    heated air

    Silken touch

    childlike innocence

    shining eyes

    Under flowing hair

    Give to me

    Let me see

    your Summer’s Divinity

    Beaches and tans

    lovers holding hands

    Heaven’s golden stair

    on flowing heated air

  • The Hunt

    A ravaging wolf is Howling at the moon

    Swallowing darkness in the hunt

    Passion driven blood lust

    Hunger hunt or mate to find?

  • Worship Life

    Caterpillar, weave your womb

    Emerge a butterfly

    from the tomb

    Graceful wings of God’s device

    Gifted to live twice

    To also see God

    in a bird in flight

    in summer starlight

    Whispered in the wind

    Never to recind…

    Worship life

  • Watching Butterflies

    The other day was a beautiful day. 83° low humidity. Jill rightfully wanted to go out for a while. We started on a drive, ostensibly to Princeton. On the way, I mentioned that there is a nature park pretty close to home. She agreed to a walk, so we pulled into… Crystal Lake Park. With a mindful eye kept for Jason, we got out of the car and started our walk. We passed a sign notifying all that the park was closed dusk to dawn. Now I’m thinking “Great, vampires too.” There’s a nice paved walking jogging and biking path running through the woods, and since I didn’t have bug spray in the car, we decided to opt for that path as opposed to the ones that were just mowed spots along the woods and fields. Neither of us is in great shape, and I’m still recovering from knee replacement surgery, and walking with a cane. Moseying along, we find a shady spot with a wood railed fence overlooking a small ravine, so we stop to take a look. I’m mentioning something about wildlife when I noticed a beautiful dark butterfly. I pointed it out to Jill, and another one comes to view. Then another. Sometime between that and me running out of fingers to count with, Jill turns to me and asks “Do you have children?” For those of you that are lacking in knowledge of my present history, Jill has Alzheimer’s. And we’ve been together for close to 20 years. After answering, “No” and reflecting on being asked a question usually reserved for a first or second date by someone who once upon a time knew all about me… It’s so sad

    Then I think about how things could be so very different. No ex wife, no ligation over alimony or child support. And the butterflies keep coming. Jill wants to go, so we amble back to the car. Jill, of course, wanders towards the wrong car, then gets in the driver’s seat of our car. It takes a little bit to coax her out and into the passenger’s side, and I ask if she knows that she can’t drive, she answers in the affirmative, with a mournful yes that breaks my heart a little bit more. She was so independent, creative and adventurous when we met.

    After asking what felt like 57 times with no answer, I made an executive decision and headed for Princeton. Driving through town was very strange. I lived there 28 years ago, and we both spent a lot of time there back in the day. It was so, so different. What used to be here was gone or something else, over and over. Some of the old places were still there, but it was still a little surreal and sad. At the same time, there are a lot of happy and fond memories attached to the town. It reminded me of the butterflies and the changes they go through. I chose to take the longer more scenic route home after we decided not to take a walk. Meandering towards home, it occurs to me how Alzheimer’s is like a butterfly in reverse. You start with a beautiful creature and sadly watch as they retreat slowly into a cocoon, losing themselves and the things that made them enjoy life. It’s painful and frightening to have to stand by watching, knowing that there’s not much you can do. I can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like from the other side. Jill’s still aware that she’s losing herself, and she’s scared and confused a lot. She’s always telling me “I’ve got to figure out what’s going on…”

    So I guess in a way, I’m always watching butterflies.

  • Dead Soul Brother

    Greg,

    What was your last living thought?

    You went so peacefully, quietly

    the way it should be done

    but not at 28

    It’s so very hard to think of you

    as Not

    So different, you and I

    We were a gentle riot

    you and me

    You were such

    a gentle giant

    Always had a minute for fun

    you’ll always be Great to me

    Don’t think I’ll ever see you smile

    Again

    So if you get restless

    Come see me once in a while

    my friend

    I miss you more, as the daze go by

    Almost been here or there before

    I’m still mad at you

    & it’s still sad

    I couldn’t cry as you walked out that final door

    but I love you, Brother

    & you’ll never be just another

    Another dead friend

    Somewhat

    Like a midnight mystery lover

    w/ the drug things we had to do

    undercover

    we understood each other

    My errant almost twin

    Soul Brother

  • Poetry

    Worlds of words

    Oh, to think

    If the people were

    All Poets

    Or could Almost understand

    Holiness would bless

    caress & undress

    Yield w/ wanting

    to the word “Yes”

    So set desires on fire

    seek them with innocence

    Need not be a thief

    or a liar

    Poetry is sacred to me

    &

    Genius is within humanity

    But, damn! You’ve got to look very hard

    To begin to see

    What would set us free

    But I will start with

    Poetry