Poetry, Random Ramblings and Rants

The minutes join and form hours

The evening sours

This swelling feeling seems fitting

For dark seductions

In a darkened room

Some loveless tomb

Adoring victim 

Who’s haunting who? 

I leave her in a guilty bed

To stalk a lover new

Rattlesnake rustling of leaves

In the trees

Under a full moon

Silent streets where tension is strung

Alleys alive with a song unsung

Over the edge and into my eyes

I’m at home here

For every home 

Has a shadow of fear

I don’t like sleeping alone

I don’t like answering the phone

I don’t feel like drinking alone

so I’m on the phone

Red, pink, black and blue or grey

I don’t care what you say

Everything

might be over after today

So throw some time my way

You say smile/ I say make me

but you can’t do it on the phone

Idea implied vaguely

then says I shouldn’t be alone

because we can’t make love

On the phone

I called; she hung up again

Another drink and another dime

I call a friend of hers this time

She doesn’t know what I’ve done

Well, I never worried much

about tomorrow

But today I can’t drink away

my sorrow

I didn’t mean to hurt no one

But something’s come undone

Tomorrow comes and I wake

early in the day

I take

a walk

wait for opening time

Another drink and another dime

I call a friend of mine this time

He laughs and says

that sounds like me

He can’t set me free

but he’ll come have a drink

or two with me

Author’s note: To add some perspective, this was written so long ago shots were 90 cents and pay phones (look it up if you have to) cost a dime to make a call

Why can’t I find anyone alive

who sees the way I do?

Some see w/ the eye

while others see through

Misery is an angel w/ face that’s Blue

Crippled wings used in painful flight

& a home in Heaven’s nite

Waken’d by the lion’s roar

Soothed by the lamb’s loneliness

Been on this wild shore

Before

It’s something more than holiness

& no one to read what you write

Born in Heaven’s nite

did you come to save me?

Can I touch you before I free my grave?

I’ll try to be a servant

but I cannot be a slave

Doing what you want to

comes w/ being free

Doing what you have to

is reality

Questions & loneliness

cannot be solved w/ drink

Rebel of Holiness

I’ve read your Word

but still don’t know what to think

Admittedly I’m lost, confused

blind, hungry & meagerly abused

At least in human light

Some find delight

Some are not amused

At this Exile in Heaven’s nite

And me?

I’m torn between

Those two extremes

it’s

Philosophically Obscene

Boredom

Lonliness

Creativity

The garments of God

The poet is just a puppet

An extension of Soul into Flesh

A spirit crushed by the senses five

His torture is his blessing

A prison of freedom

Not quite living, yet more than alive

Impossible dreams expressing

The day they should arrive

Surreal is real

if that’s how you feel

& if tomorrow never comes

It’s just another trip through time

So

In these minutes

Shadows have their appeal

Pictures of you

visions coming into view

Now a chilled whisper

tickling up my spine

Caressing your hair

as fire and velvet entwine

The memory reaches

semi-sweetly into the past

That smiling flame

was exstinguished must too fast

Tho I feel it reaches remotely

into some forgotten caste

A casual encounter

you felt was not meant to last

Still, when I think of you

how can I be blue?

Seasons come & seasons go

& as we all should know

One & one are not always two

Hey, it’s me, your often absent host, letting you know how this works for me… I’ve been writing for over 40 years, thru adolescence, active alcoholism and drug addiction, and into more than 20 years of recovery. I pick and choose from stacks of notebooks, editing and trying to capture fleeting glimpses of past, present , and/or gazing towards an always uncertain future. I hope it’s what I believe good art should be, non-linear, abstractly personal and hopefully relatable. You know, the old comedy/tragedy mask thing, because if you’re coming from a place of darkness OR light you’ve got to learn to laugh, or risk taking yourself too damn seriously. Watch if you will my continued childlike wants, needs, and dreams twist and turn, sometimes maturing, sometimes regressing, sometimes vacant or stagnant, idle hands being as some say, the devil’s workshop. Finally, like everyone else growing up in the 70’s I was gonna be a rock n’ roll star, so there will also be lyrics thrown in, as well as brand new finished “product”. Don’t know about you, but I think I’m ready… “HEY, HO, LET’S GO!”

I sit alone

With my demons

& dead desires

Waiting

In what feels like vain

For some sign

That I am, indeed

Where and when I’m supposed to be

Ominously

Feeling like I’m on 

A sliding board to hell

Just a feeling

Seems unshakable 

Some metaphoric

Mosquito swarm

That swallows me with dread

This moment in time 

Grinding thru my very bones

Leeching what used to be my will to live

Now some antagonizing 

Razor blade numbness

Making itself at home

I know better

But knowledge 

Doesn’t always set you free

Eyes like twin sunsets

    Beautiful, turning into night 

    Into stars that shine 

      Into mine

Evening with a charming one

Hiding within reach

My fingers have sifted through the the sand

Looking for the pearl

I know is on this beach

Seagulls have their freedom

And the breeze laughs with them

At me

Perplexed at my imprisonment

Sand is crumbled rock

And my fingers bleed

Something Heaven sent

Some escape from penitence

I guess that’s what I need

Seagulls have their freedom

And the breeze laughs with them

At me 

I stop to gaze along the shore

Wind kicks up and nothing’s left

Where it was before

Those eyes, those eyes

I thought I saw them shining 

As another rock is pounded into sand

What offbeat Deity was flung upon this earth?

Some silent call commanding me

Tortured into birth

Come to life my Hyacinth

Set my fingers free

The voice keeps calling from some unseen realm

The mystified sailor dreams he’s at the helm

… while his fingers bleed

A string from someone else’s past

Now noosed around my neck

Someone who was slaughtered

Or taken in a wreck

Dead men have their freedom

And the breeze laughs with them

At me

Little girl, what ya gonna be… when you grow up

Little girl, will ya still love me… when we grow up

Spent the tender years, wrapped in your arms, your loving arms

All the years, fears and tears, in your arms, your brutal arms

I’ve got you, you’ve got me, tell me what we’re gonna be

Streets are filled with empty love, intensified insanity 

Memories, miseries, another day

Ecstacies, enimies, night and day

Little girl, hometown blues, I’ll leave you before I die

Little girl, I love you, tho you live a lie

Little girl, Little lady, Angel. Angel, Angel… Liar!

Angel of darkness, do you have a soul

Angel of darkness do you have a soul

Laughing, Loving, Living, your streets are calling me

Crying, Raping, Dying, your blood is drownding me

The words, they’re all screams

The clouds, they’re all green

Live to please your dying day

Maybe you’d better learn to pray