Poetry, Random Ramblings and Rants

Distorted images

shining up from wet pavement

Slow lonely traffic

uncertain destination

Civilization

a wilderness mispercepted

Discovery born of

unschooled education

Decadence, future father of Roman change

Will the futures dawn ignite Heaven or Hell

Will Eden triumph or Hades again paroled

Looking thru a window into a wishing well

Looking out a window

at what may well always be

Thinking of the Ancient Gods

but that is not what I see

In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that He did not also limit his stupidity.

Konrad Adenauer

WTF! I’ve been pretty much housebound since surgery a few weeks ago (knee replacement)… I’m not driving yet, so I’m limited to going out to Drs appointments and occasional trips to the supermarket and the pharmacy within, when I have a ride. Somehow, between every venture I fool myself into believing that we live in a “normal” world. What the fuck is wrong with me? Of perhaps more importance to “we” is what the fuck is wrong with people? Remember when it was “we”? When what was important was what was best for all? Now I keep forgetting that where you’re going is more important than wherever I may be going, be it the ER, the supermarket, a convenience store, or your sister’s house (guess she can wait). There’s no need to bend over and kiss my ass, I sure ain’t gonna do it for you, but is civility and a little respect too much to ask? Guess so. I know I’m not even close to perfect, and if I’m determined, there’s no way you’re going to out “Asshole” me, but I can at least be polite to and grateful for the persons with service jobs doing what I can’t or won’t do for myself. Ok, maybe you’ve been to the vet today and you have to put drops in Fido’s eyes a few times a day. But maybe the person that you’re treating like “the help” lost their favorite aunt yesterday and, if they’re lucky, they can get a day off for the funeral. IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! Except maybe when you drive past 3 signs that say “RIGHT LANE IS FOR TURNING ONLY” and it’s ok to make the people behind you that are turning right wait for you to venture through the traffic into the lane your dumb ass is s’posed to be in. I assume those people are going somewhere, but that brings us back to the fact that your destination is quite obviously priority to the utmost squared. Ever been in a checkout line and the person or two in front of you seemingly forgot that payment is expected and has to fumble around, perhaps get out an abacus to figure out which card has enough on it or if they have enough cash? Hey, sometimes that person is me (probably on the day I have to pick up drops for Fido’s eyes) but I at least turn around and apologize profusely. And are you the person that goes around the line of traffic to the front of the exit line to take your proper place in front of all of us lunkheads taking our place and waiting our turn? Do you have any idea how many times I’ve decided not to run your “too smart and important” ass off the road to have a little chat about how you are no better than others until you can stop bullets and not bleed? Or how many times your Mercedes, BMW. Lexus, etc is lucky to make it home without a dent shaped like my buggy, after racing to the red light without the desired outcome? I would continue, but perhaps it’s better to leave some for next time. Take peace that you can relax a bit, at least until I get back to driving on Your roads

Have a far out and groovy day… Grrrrr

She was a lover in an urgent hour

A damsel in distress

in an enchanted tower

She heard the whisper of footsteps

in the hall

She felt a heartbeat thru

the ancient wall

A dark halo’d prince

had come to be her man

The key into lock was turned

& hours into passion burned

The wizard stayed home

for a hundred years

And all his words

were for her ears

Then one Summer

She left to get a tan

she liked the experience

and found a Sunshine Man

Don’t know what to think about you

But I’m thinking about you

You capture infinite possibilities

w/ just a smiling glance

& fantasy memories

Are waiting somewhere

If we give ’em a chance

Moving with sensuous grace

Y’know you take my heart for a ride

& I wonder what it would be like

To spend time by your side

‘Cuz all I really know is

If I painted a perfect angel

Into a living dream

She would look like you

Move like you

& Smile

Like you

I climb and I climb

A circle of time

I can’t take it anymore

I can’t fake it anymore

Everybody wants what’s mine

I don’t believe in forever… anymore

Sunday morning finds me dazed

Looking for a place to stay

Stubborn sidewalks, my breath in the air

Pondering my death, and should I even care?

I’m so tired of drinking with my “friends”

So tired of nights with forgotten ends

So tired of living on the edge

So tired of dancing on the ledge

I don’t believe in forever… anymore

Spent all my money on a new girlfriend

Another chance, nothing else is new

Another beginning that will soon come to an end

Another dance with a stranger like you

Another chance, and nothing else will do

Nothing else is new

I don’t believe in forever… anymore

I’m in an alley off of dream street

A bra and a broken bottle at my feet

I’m bleeding, it’s a dirty story

About drinking, lust and glory

The dawn is bruised

Where night fell down on it

I’m confused, contused

And the glory’s all counterfeit

I don’t believe in forever anymore, anymore

Anymore

The minutes join and form hours

The evening sours

This swelling feeling seems fitting

For dark seductions

In a darkened room

Some loveless tomb

Adoring victim 

Who’s haunting who? 

I leave her in a guilty bed

To stalk a lover new

Rattlesnake rustling of leaves

In the trees

Under a full moon

Silent streets where tension is strung

Alleys alive with a song unsung

Over the edge and into my eyes

I’m at home here

For every home 

Has a shadow of fear

I don’t like sleeping alone

I don’t like answering the phone

I don’t feel like drinking alone

so I’m on the phone

Red, pink, black and blue or grey

I don’t care what you say

Everything

might be over after today

So throw some time my way

You say smile/ I say make me

but you can’t do it on the phone

Idea implied vaguely

then says I shouldn’t be alone

because we can’t make love

On the phone

I called; she hung up again

Another drink and another dime

I call a friend of hers this time

She doesn’t know what I’ve done

Well, I never worried much

about tomorrow

But today I can’t drink away

my sorrow

I didn’t mean to hurt no one

But something’s come undone

Tomorrow comes and I wake

early in the day

I take

a walk

wait for opening time

Another drink and another dime

I call a friend of mine this time

He laughs and says

that sounds like me

He can’t set me free

but he’ll come have a drink

or two with me

Author’s note: To add some perspective, this was written so long ago shots were 90 cents and pay phones (look it up if you have to) cost a dime to make a call

Why can’t I find anyone alive

who sees the way I do?

Some see w/ the eye

while others see through

Misery is an angel w/ face that’s Blue

Crippled wings used in painful flight

& a home in Heaven’s nite

Waken’d by the lion’s roar

Soothed by the lamb’s loneliness

Been on this wild shore

Before

It’s something more than holiness

& no one to read what you write

Born in Heaven’s nite

did you come to save me?

Can I touch you before I free my grave?

I’ll try to be a servant

but I cannot be a slave

Doing what you want to

comes w/ being free

Doing what you have to

is reality

Questions & loneliness

cannot be solved w/ drink

Rebel of Holiness

I’ve read your Word

but still don’t know what to think

Admittedly I’m lost, confused

blind, hungry & meagerly abused

At least in human light

Some find delight

Some are not amused

At this Exile in Heaven’s nite

And me?

I’m torn between

Those two extremes

it’s

Philosophically Obscene

Boredom

Lonliness

Creativity

The garments of God

The poet is just a puppet

An extension of Soul into Flesh

A spirit crushed by the senses five

His torture is his blessing

A prison of freedom

Not quite living, yet more than alive

Impossible dreams expressing

The day they should arrive

Surreal is real

if that’s how you feel

& if tomorrow never comes

It’s just another trip through time

So

In these minutes

Shadows have their appeal